Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Pseudo-Felicidade

Mal sabe você, o quanto é grande a vontade de lhe ter para mim...
Não sei se tenho disfarçado bem, mas ando fazendo o possível e o impossível para repelir o que sinto de dentre de mim. Acabo por enganar a mim mesma e o atraio cada vez mais para perto.
Porque eu já sou capaz de trocar alguns minutos de boa compania por um abismo que, às vezes, é o silêncio da sua presença.
A cada tragada, consome um pouco do meu ar... A cada gesto de indiferença nas minhas tentativas frustradas de chamar-lhe a atenção, morre um pouco da minha vontade de "cair na real"...
Ando a procura de desejos impertinentes. Sofro, caio, me machuco, vivo momentos alegres que se difarçam de felicidade. Mas o prazer de parecer feliz é o primeiro passo para a sensação de dor profunda!
Se é capaz de perceber em mim a minha mudança contante de humor, verá o quanto é conflitante desejar o distante e amar o inatingível!...

***Parabéns aos meus dois irmãos, que tanto amo! Cabeção por ontem e Jennifer por amanhã! Tudo de bom pra eles!***

4 comentários:

Lily said...

esse amar o inatingível foi foda. pegou no fundo do amago do... ah. foi profundo. ms ah, pára com esses sentimentalismos, amor. sofrer assim.. sofrer por isso.. não sei se vale... amo vc. ver sua dor me machuca.

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Fonse said...

Ame o inatingível!
O seria dos nossos caminhos sem a presença das estrelas!
Estrelas e sua inalcançável beleza!
talvez por ser tão inalcançável é q amamos...
O amor pleno é um inalcançável q deve ser almejado!
fique bem!
Tudibão!